


Epoch

by lourrygum



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Feeeeeeelings, Feelings, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 14:48:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6333250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lourrygum/pseuds/lourrygum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But Michael’s in a <em>band</em>, of course. He hasn’t spent over two months in his own home in over four years and he definitely hasn’t spent up to that amount of time anywhere else. L.A.’s the only place where they’d stuck around long enough to stop getting lost often enough to have to spend fifteen minutes on Google maps figuring out where the hell they were. And even then, they only stayed for around six weeks. It’s not like six weeks isn’t enough to meet someone, but it’s definitely not enough to start to like them and date them and continue to like them enough to put an effort into the long-distance thing. </p><p>or, michael's parents are worried, luke wants to help, calum can't lie, and ashton knows best</p>
            </blockquote>





	Epoch

**Author's Note:**

> !!! so this is the longest thing i've ever written all in one go and im hella proud. hopefully yall like it 
> 
> big big thanks to aliisa for providing counselling and advice while i tried to transfer this from my brain to my computer

It’s not like it’s abnormal for Michael to not have someone in his life. As in, a boyfriend, and not just people, because he’s got plenty of those. More than he would have ever 

But Michael’s in a _band_ , of course. He hasn’t spent over two months in his own home in over four years and he definitely hasn’t spent up to that amount of time anywhere else. L.A.’s the only place where they’d stuck around long enough to stop getting lost often enough to have to spend fifteen minutes on Google maps figuring out where the hell they were. And even then, they only stayed for around six weeks. It’s not like six weeks isn’t enough to meet someone, but it’s definitely not enough to start to like them and date them and continue to like them enough to put an effort into the long-distance thing.

So, Michael’s got a whole arsenal of excuses.

They’re all reasonable, in his opinion. He doesn’t know why his mum’s so worried about him. But then again, she’s always been a worrier, it’s who she is. She was _that_ mum, the one who would flip if she was called into school because he wasn’t feeling well and needed to be brought home. It would happen a lot, though, so eventually she became desensitized to it. And then Michael stopped going to school altogether, and so she worried about the fact that he would never get a job. And now Michael’s pretty much set for life, could retire at twenty if he so pleased (he doesn’t think he’ll ever retire), and she’s worried that he’s _lonely_.

Michael would suggest a hobby to her, but he thinks worrying might honestly be it.

He picks up the remote on the coffee table next to him and starts flicking through the channels. He’s pressing the button too fast, and he can’t really see what’s on, but it’s calming enough, just the concept of it. That he can just lay here on a sofa and watch TV and not have to go out and do an interview or anything. Their break couldn’t have come at a better time, he thinks.

“I don’t mean to nag you.” Karen says, perching on the couch on the other side of the room, gearing up to nag him. Michael grunts in response, his face pressed against the sofa, feeling a weird rush of déjà vu. Mainly because he’s right back where he was a few years ago, being a sulky, obstinate brat. “I just want someone looking out for you, love.”

She’s gotten all matter-of-fact and her voice is convincing now, and it’s not as easy for Michael to be stubborn now. She means well. And it’s not like Michael hasn’t wanted someone to snuggle and talk about, like, his day with or whatever. But then again, if that’s what he’s needing, then he basically has three boyfriends already. “I’m fine on my own,” He says, voice muffled by the couch cushion. “Really.”

There’s a silence, and it seems that Karen has found a way to make Michael’s brain yell _no you’re not_ at him so she doesn’t have to do it herself. Okay, so Michael doesn’t do great on his own. He thinks too much and then he makes himself sad. He knows it, she knows it. But he’s never on his own, is the thing. He has a friend group larger than his teenaged self would have ever imagined and he’s only twenty years of age, for God’s sake. There’s plenty of time to go out and fall in love and get matching tattoos with the guy and all that.

“You haven’t seen anyone you like? Ever?” Karen tries again, “Anyone at all, Mikey?” Michael sighs loudly and kind of wishes his dad was home so he’d say something wise like _leave him be, Kar_ and Michael would attempt to high-five him and get a _don’t-disrespect-your-mother_ look in return, and be left hanging, and everything could be a little normal. Jeez. Her tone sounds a little desperate now and Michael contains the eye-roll dying to break loose. She’s been on this since he got home a week ago on their break, sneaking it in every so often and catching him unawares.

“No I’ve never in my life seen anyone that I like.” Michael says, sitting up and pulling on his shoes. Luke’s house isn’t far; he could probably be there in fifteen minutes. He’s aware that he’s acting like a bratty teenager, but old habits die hard. He glances at his mums face. ‘M going to Luke’s.” He says.

Karen just smiles, a little sadly, which makes the guilt rise in Michael’s throat and choke him. “Don’t stay out too late.”

^

“Bro,” Luke says, leaning against the doorframe of his kitchen as Michael makes a huge sandwich. “What’s up your ass?” Michael’s not said a word to him since he came in. He’d just bolted straight for the kitchen and gotten out the bread. Luke, ever the understanding one, had let Michael fume in silence for a few minutes before daring to question what the hell he was doing.

“Nothing.” Michael grumbles, crouching to get Luke’s sandwich toaster out of the cupboard. It was nice to see that Luke’s spending his money on good things, like expensive sandwich toasters. It makes him happy.

Luke’s quiet for a bit longer while Michael fiddles with the settings. There’s four dials when, in Michael’s opinion, there should only be an on/off switch. The thing was meant to cook sandwiches, who cared about temperature control? It’s either toasting or it’s not. He struggles with it for a second, and takes back his earlier satisfaction with the machine. It’s impossible to work and if the disappointments don’t stop hurling themselves at Michael, he may cry.

“Who cares about temperature control?” Michael says aloud. “It’s either toasting or it’s not.” Luke, still silent, just walks over and takes over Michael’s sandwich making. Michael takes a little step back, then lifts himself up onto the island in the middle of the kitchen, feet swaying. “Mum wants me to get married.” He explains without being prompted, exaggerating as usual. Luke shuts the toaster, and turns to face Michael. His feet are bare and his beard’s grown a bit thicker than he'd let it if they weren’t on a break.

“Yeah?” Luke smiles a little.

“Yeah. Like, right now. I- I don’t have anyone in mind. Everyone sucks. She thinks I’m lonely.” Michael meets Luke’s eyes. “I think she’s disappointed. In me.”

Luke sucks his lip into his mouth. His lip ring isn’t in it, which is good because Michael doesn’t think he can deal with it right now. He braces his hands on the marble counter and lifts himself up onto it, sitting right across from Michael, not saying anything in particular. It feels weirdly nostalgic, like any minute now, Jack’s going to come bustling in and mess up Michael’s hair and tell them both to communicate with words, like normal people. But Jack’s moved in with his girlfriend and they’re twenty (Luke’s nineteen, but well), not sixteen anymore. And the way Michael feels about Luke has only grown with each year. It kind of sucks. Michael kicks his leg against the drawer by his feet.

“You know she’s not disappointed. How could she be? You’ve built a band that’s famous literally everywhere around the whole world out of- what? Four lads in a garage? That’s incredible, Mikey.” Luke’s voice is soft and his eyes are wide and earnest.

“I think you’ll find that that was Ashton, who did that.” Michael corrects him, trying and failing at containing his smile. Luke rolls his eyes

“ _Are_ you lonely?” He asks. Michael shrugs. The toaster beeps and Luke opens it to check how Michael’s sandwich is doing. He closes it again, clicking it shut. “No,” Michael denies immediately. Luke just looks at him. Michael shakes his head. “I’m not. I’m fine as I am, stop looking at me like that. It’s just- she wants to be able to think that there’s someone looking out for me-“

“We look out for you,” Luke says, sounding a little offended that Karen Clifford doesn’t have faith in their care-taking skills. “I’m making you a sandwich. _Toasted_. What more could you ask for?”

Michael just shrugs because a lot of unhelpful wistfulness is rising in his throat. He doesn’t appreciate Luke equating himself as the perfect substitute for a boyfriend. It’s not helping.

“Speaking of sandwiches,” Michael says, nodding towards the toaster. Luke rolls his eyes but hops off the counter to get a plate out. He takes a half of the sandwich for himself, and Michael doesn’t even complain. As he watches Luke chew, the plan settles in his mind.

^

“You’re home early,” Karen says when Michael returns. His dad’s home and putting something in the oven.

Michael’s eyes flick to the clock on the wall. He’s been out for four hours.

“I’ve been out for four hours.”

His dad raises his eyebrows at him. “When you two were kids you’d spend most of the day at Luke’s. Wondered sometimes if you’d come home at all.” He pauses. “Nice boy, Luke is.”

It just makes what Michael’s about to say a tiny bit easier.

“We’re together.” He blurts out. “Me and Luke. Have been for a while. We just... didn’t want to say. It was all a bit complicated, I’m sure you can imagine.” He looks pointedly at his mother, waiting for a reaction.

“Really? Oh God, Mikey.” She grins, and Michael smiles back. She looks relieved and the frown lines are gone, and behind her, his dad laughs a little, looking equally happy, and Michael lets himself take a breath. It seems like things are going to be alright.

^

“You told them what?” Calum asks, sitting cross-legged in the sand. It’s unreasonably hot, even for Australia. Michael squints up at Calum and wishes he had brought sunglasses.

The beach is empty, probably because it’s a weekday. The lack of witnesses to Michael’s oncoming death is a little worrying.

Michael shrugs. He seems to be doing a lot of it lately. “You know how mum is.”

“You can’t just tell your mum you’re in a relationship with Luke. When you’re _not_.” Calum looks bewildered.

“’Course I can.” Michael says. “I just did. Yesterday, actually.”

“Oh my God.” Calum presses his hands to his face. “Ashton’s going to shoot you.”

“What d’you think Luke’ll say?” Michael asks, ignoring the fact that maybe death by Calum isn't what he should've been worried about. He drags his fingers through the dry sand. Calum raises his eyebrows at Michael, taking his hands off his face.

“Are you really asking? Luke would scale a mountain with you, probably, if you wanted to. He’s going to go along with it. Obviously.”

“'Obviously.'” Michael repeats unsurely. Yeah, Luke agrees to a lot of his dumb ideas. But this... He pauses. “I don’t think Luke likes me that much.”

“Right.” Calum looks astounded at Michael’s own stupidity. Michael shrugs it off. He gets this look from Calum quite a lot. “Anyway. ‘M gonna get a strawberry milkshake from Macca’s. Come with me before you trip and accidentally marry someone.”

^

Liz lets Michael into the Hemmings household later that day. She comments on how tall Michael’s gotten and how much she likes Michael’s new hair colour – electric blue – and then tells him that Luke’s in his room, playing FIFA.

Michael barges in without knocking to see Luke sitting criss-cross applesauce on his bed, eyes fixated on the T.V. He’s wearing boxers and a t-shirt and looks even broader than normal, sitting on his tiny childhood bed. “Fuckin’ loner.” He greets him affectionately.

“There’s no shame in playing on your own.” Luke’s voice has a weird tone, probably because he’s trying to score a goal. Michael checks the score and sees that Luke is losing two-nil. He shakes his head in horror.

“Can’t even beat a computer.”

“Computers are smart.” Luke protests, back tensing as he tries to score a goal. Michael quietens down out of respect, and when Luke makes it, his face lights up, pausing the game and throwing his hands in the air in victory. Michael bites back the million teasing remarks that rise to his tongue, and he lets Luke have his moment. Moments like this give him hope. The fact that he defaults to insults so often with Luke has to show that he doesn’t _like_ him. Boys who like other boys don’t do that.

“Set up two player.” Michael says, kicking off his shoes to come and sit next to Luke on his bed. Luke moves over to make room and they play for the better part of an hour. When Michael has absolutely destroyed Luke, and Luke has predictably whined like a baby and demanded a rematch, Michael nudges him with his shoulder. Luke starts the game and grunts in reply, jaw tight with concentration. Michael looks at his face for a second, and all of a sudden is distracting by his Adam’s apple bobbing and the scruff just below his jaw, and the lip ring he seems to have decided to put in today.

By the time Michael re-focuses, Luke’s scored a goal on him, and has also noticed Michael staring. “You wanna take a picture?” Luke wonders. Michael meets his eyes and absolutely refuses to blush.

“I told my mum we’re dating.” He says, which makes him blush bright red. It just sounds so _stupid_ , what was Michael thinking? Luke just looks at him for a second, and he one-hundred-percent blames Calum for giving him this false confidence, and for giving him that milkshake which was full of sugar- Calum should’ve known better. This is Calum’s fault. All his fault.

“Really?” Luke says, setting down the Xbox controller. Michael’s throat tightens because he feels a _conversation_ coming on, and he doesn’t think he’s up for one right now.

“Yeah.” Michael looks away from Luke, back to the T.V. and continues playing like he hasn’t just fucked everything up. “So, it’s not like you need to do anything in particular.” Its ridiculously easy to win, now that Luke’s not playing. Joke’s on him, with his seriousness and his need to talk about everything. Michael’s the real winner here. “Just maybe, come for dinner at mine sometime. Which you already do anyways. So, it’s just like normal.”

“Just like normal.” Luke repeats incredulously.

“We don’t actually have to date.” Michael tells him, voice laced with irritation because he can feel Luke’s eyes on his face. He can feel how fucking horrified he looks at what Michael’s done, and he can’t deal with it. “We don’t have to go out anywhere or even hang out more than normal. All that matters is that my parents think we’re dating, and that’s gonna be easy to pull off, alright? Now pick up your controller so I can beat you properly.”

^

On the eleventh day of their break, Ashton makes a re-appearance.

“Where the hell have you been?” Michael asks when Ashton pulls up outside his house, just to be unreasonable. Ashton just rolls his eyes at him, because he knows Michael knows the answer. Ashton just loves his family a lot and has dedicated the first week of all their breaks to Irwin Time. It’s an embarrassing name for it and it contains an amazing amount of teasing potential.

“Have I missed much?” Ashton asks, turning the engine on and driving off. Michael doesn’t even need to be told that they’re going to get Luke and then Calum and then they’re all going to hang out. But they can’t, really because Michael has ruined the band dynamic for the foreseeable future and now it’s all weird. Luke hasn’t texted him since their FIFA match yesterday, and Michael’s worried he hates him now. It's a weird ask, and not to be dramatic but who'd want to date him anyway?

“Meh,” Michael shrugs. “It’s Perth. Not much to miss, you know?”

Ashton’s quietly pensive for a minute, and when they settle into traffic, he turns the aircon a little higher and turns to Michael. “Yeah?” He asks, which is terrifying for Michael.

Ashton’s “yeah?”’s mean he knows more than Michael does; mean he’s in for way more than he bargained for.

Michael decides to assume that Ashton knows what’s going on, since he probably does, so he cuts straight to it. “Can we not pick up Luke?” He asks. The words taste bitter on his tongue, but he can’t help them. It’s going to be _so awkward_.

“We’re picking him up, Michael.” Ashton replies, taking the right turn as the traffic lights flash green. Michael sighs and Ashton doesn’t look at him again. “Why’d you do it?”

“My mum-“

“No, yeah. Calum told me all that.” So it was fucking _Calum_. Michael’s going to knock his lights out when he sees him. “But why did you choose _Luke_? Not me, not Calum?”

These are tough questions Ashton’s asking. Michael expected them, Ashton’s not one to ignore things until they go away. There’s a lot of answers but Michael doesn’t feel like revealing any of them. The closer they get to Luke’s house, the more he feels like his heart is going to break through his rib cage and run away from him, and the panic surging through him makes him run his mouth. As always.

“What, are you _jealous_ , Ashton? Sorry, next time I need a fake boyfriend you’ll be first on my list.”

He looks at Ashton, but all he gets is an eye roll and a reluctant smile in response. At least Michael hasn’t pissed off his band to the point of no return. That’s semi-comforting.

“You two should talk.” Ashton says, pulling up in front of Luke’s and pulling out his phone to text him to come outside, like he’d done to Michael.

“We will.” Michael mutters (lies) as Luke opens the door, messy hair hidden under a black snapback and no shoes on his feet. He squints at the car and rubs his jaw sleepily. Michael figures he’s only woken up, then looks away before they can make eye contact. He hears him yell “one sec!” and then the door slams shut.

^

They end up at the small coffee shop they used to play at sometimes, before the manager told them their music was too loud for people that were just trying to get a caffeine fix. Michael sits next to Calum, and opposite from Luke and Ashton. He doesn’t even like coffee. He crosses his legs for the third time since they’ve sat down.

Saying there’s an “awkward silence” would be a lie, because there’s quiet elevator music playing that Michael can’t believe is supposedly better than their music, but whatever. And Ashton’s been talking about the set-list for when they go back on tour, but Michael thinks he needs to slow his roll. Tour’s not for another month, the set-list will come together in due time.

So there’s not silence, but Michael hasn’t spoken since Luke hopped in the car, and had only muttered a defeated “hey” when Luke said hi to him, his eyes on his lap. He feels three pairs of eyes constantly flashing onto his face now, then away before they think he can notice. There’s a huge elephant standing right in the middle of the room, and it’- it’s _awkward_. Everyone knows but no one will talk about it, and when Ashton jokes about playing Don’t Stop thirteen times in a row, Michael can’t even bring himself to laugh at the quality joke.

Luke is fidgeting like hell; Michael doesn’t like it. Michael shouldn’t be the cause of anyone’s fidgeting. Luke should sit down properly and stop bouncing his thigh under the table where he doesn’t think anyone can see, but Michael can feel because it’s slightly rocking the table they’re sharing. Everyone ignores it though, and pretends like it’s not happening. Even Ashton, who’s usually the forerunner for getting everyone to spill their guts and talk about their feelings. There’s so many secrets.

"We don’t have to fake-date if you don’t want to, it was like, really dumb of me to spring that on you like that without asking you, I don’t know where the hell it came from, I was kind of desperate and I just thought you wouldn’t mind, but I shouldn’t have and. And I’m sorry." Luke stares wide-eyed at Michael, and Calum picks up his coffee and takes a sip of it. Ashton just smiles to himself, like this had been his ultimate goal and he was just waiting for things to play out. Motherfucker.

Michael means what he says. Like, his mother and father won’t _die_ if Michael doesn’t have a boyfriend. They might get worried and check up on him a lot, but.

They’ll live. Michael thinks his own life may be what’s at risk if Luke rejects him right now in the middle of this coffee shop in front of their band.

“No, I-“ Luke begins, which isn’t a very promising start. He looks down, then back up at Michael again. “I never said I didn’t want to do it, it’s just that when you told me? It sounded like it was the worst decision you’d ever made, like you were full of regrets-“

“I’m not.” Says Michael. “Full of regrets, I’m not. I thought you could pull it off well, so I just-“

“And I could. I could fake-date you.” Luke shrugs. The table stops rocking, and warmth fills the place where Michael’s heart is.

“Bro.” Michael says, putting a hand over his heart. “You’d be in a pretend relationship with me to trick my parents? You’d do that for me bro?”

“I would be honoured, bro.” Luke says, to which Ashton’s eyes roll practically to the back of his head.

“So it’s all a big misunderstanding,” Ashton says, looking very amused and pleased with himself. Michael rolls his eyes and takes a huge bite out of the cookie Ashton ordered to hide his smile.

“Told you we should’ve just told Ash.” Calum takes another sip of his drink. Michael turns to glare at him, remembering his betrayal, and Calum wails, flinching away from the inevitable attack.

“Snitch.” Michael sniffs.

“I can’t lie for _shit_ , you know that.” Calum defends himself, which is very true.

“Leave him alone, Mike. I literally only asked how you two are and he started stammering like hell. It’s not his fault.”

“I’m just too pure for all this.” Calum concludes, making them all laugh and Calum demand ‘what’s funny?’ Michael’s eyes lock with Luke, and the blond boy nods at him, and Michael is certain it’s all going to be okay.

^

“I can’t believe you’re my boyfriend now.” Luke says later that night. Luke’s in Michael’s room, and they’re both just lying down and staring at the ceiling together, at the glow-in-the-dark stars they stuck up there before they left Perth all those years back.

“Mum wants you to have dinner with us tomorrow. So they can get to know you.”

“They know everything about me.”

“Yeah, well.” Michael shrugs. “They’ve never met you as my life mate before, they only know you as the weird guy in my band so far.”

“Yeah yeah. Move over you’re crushing me.”

“Shh,” Michael rolls over onto his stomach so he can look at Luke. Luke’s eyes are very blue, and suddenly very focused on Michael’s lips. He doesn’t look away, even when he must know he’s been caught. Michael feels ridiculously warm all of a sudden.

“Sorry.” Luke says, his eyes slowly meeting Michael’s, looking sheepish somehow. Like he’s wanting something he shouldn’t. Which, technically, he is. Michael relates to the feeling, and finds himself leaning into Luke, slowly, slower than he’s ever done anything. They get so close that when Luke’s breath catches, Michael feels it and stops breathing altogether when they’re close enough that he can feel when Luke exhales all of a sudden, warm breath washing over his face. Luke leans in to him, closing the remaining space like he can’t wait anymore, and Michael finds himself stifling a moan at how eager he is. Their lips slot together, and Michael finds his hand on Luke’s waist.

Luke pulls back a little and Michael’s heart skips a beat. “What?” he asks, sounding a little defensive.

“Nothing, I just,” Luke’s warm hand trails up Michael’s side. His fingers tangle themselves in his hair. “I like looking at you.” He says, his voice a whisper.

“Oh.” Michael says, because it’s such a- a _thing_ to say, he doesn’t know how to react. Doesn’t know how to go from teasing Luke to this. Luke kisses him again, and again, pecking his lips softly, until Michael lets his own part and then they’re kissing properly, Michael’s tongue sliding wet against Luke’s. Luke’s mouth is hot and his lips are soft and no-one’s ever made Michael feel the way he’s feeling now. Luke’s fingers tug on his hair softly, and it never hurts, it only makes Michael pull Luke closer and kiss him harder.

Luke seems to be going with what Michael seems to like, presses his thumb against Michael’s jaw when he hears the choked-up sound that leaves his throat when he does it. Michael’s tongue curls against Luke’s and, not thinking, he hooks his thigh over his waist and takes in the quiet gasp he lets out when Michael’s thigh brushes over the heat of his cock, half hard in his jeans. Luke pulls Michael even closer, using the hand that’s not in his hair to angle his hips so Michel can rut off against him. Michael arches into the heat of

Luke, grinding own onto him as shamelessly as Luke is.

“Michael,” Luke groans out, making Michael’s skin flush hot because he had no idea Luke could even _make_ that sound. Luke’s leg curls around his and he can feel him, hard and desperate against him. Michael presses his lips to Luke’s jaw, panting quietly, breath fanning over Luke’s neck, the soft sounds of them rutting against each other so loud in the silent room.

Michael finds himself hating the layers of clothing separating them, even more as Michael presses his thigh up against Luke and his breathing stutters, hips rolling so desperately that Michael’s body moves with him. Luke is so close, filling Michael’s mind and senses, and it makes his mind a blur with how badly he wants him, how much he likes him. Luke whimpers quietly into Michael’s mouth, his body tensing up and then shuddering. Michael gasps Luke’s name, and all Luke does is nod before Michael’s spurting off in his boxers.

Breathing heavy, Michael rolls off of Luke a little, but just so he’s not right on top of him anymore. His head remains on Luke’s chest, and Luke strokes his fingers through Michael’s hair. Luke wriggles around in discomfort, rolling his head round to look at Michael.

“I need a shower. And underwear.” He tells him.

Michael just nods, fuck-stupid and dazed. “Yeah, alright.”

^

Michael takes the liberty of inviting the whole band to dinner the next day, and not just Luke. He needs Calum and Ashton there as buffers. He mentions it casually to his Daryl while he’s peeling potatoes and leaves it to him to tell Karen.

^

“I’m home,” Calum yells, opening Michael’s front door. Michael looks up from the couch to see Luke right behind him, rolling his eyes. He holds out a bottle of wine to Michael, who nods approvingly at his boyfriend etiquette.

“Hey,” He says, and Luke snakes an arm around his waist and pulls him in to kiss him. Calum wolf-whistles, but Michael ignores him. Apparently, kissing is a thing they do now. Of _course_ kissing is a thing they do now, they’re meant to be in a relationship. It’s then that he hears his mother’s voice, which Michael should have been expecting because that’s why they’re doing this, to fool his parents.

“Hey, Karen,” Calum grins at her and hugs her and while she’s distracted with him and his explanation as to why he has decided to cut his hair, they all duck into the kitchen and leave him to it. Michael’s just gotten past Calum when he hears the tell-tale ‘uhmmm’ that usually means _help_ , and since he’s the only one left in the room he turns reluctantly to face him.

“You coming, Cal?” Michael forces a smile as he takes in the bemused look on his mother’s face. _What has he said?_

“Your mum was just asking me how long you and Luke have been together for.” Calum rubs the back of his neck, looking at his shoes. Michael groans inwardly. Calum is terrible at lying; he knows that, and yet he’d left him to talk to the person they’re all lying to. “I- it’s been so long I can’t even remember. I guess?” Fuck. 

“It’s been a few years, mum. Why don’t we go sit down and we can talk about it later?”

“I guess that’d be alright.” She agrees, giving Calum another look and walking into the kitchen. Michael smiles, then turns to Calum when she’s out of the room and waves his hands around in an expression of incredulity. “It’s been so long I can’t even remember”? Jesus Christ.

Calum folds his arms petulantly, and walks into the dining room. Michael rolls his eyes and grabs him by the shoulders before he can leave, giving him a pat on the back that is both apologising and encouraging.

Dinner passes with minimal incidents. The conversation is easy, and Calum shuts his mouth whenever either of his parents ask about him and Luke. Luke’s a fantastic liar, andMichael appreciates that quality, however strange that may sound. Ashton’s a great help too, since he’s got the _adult_ vibe radiating off of him that make parents trust him without question. It’s fine, and Michael only blushes once when he gets caught staring at Luke for a second too long.

^

In the morning, Michael feels like cuddling and it’s absolutely unfair that he’s being denied. He rolls onto his side and gropes at his pillows, but it’s not the same. They don’t contain their own body warmth, they’re just fluff and cotton and he only gets more frustrated each second he tries to kid himself that it’s fine. It’s not fine.

He should call Calum.

 _Who am I kidding_ he thinks as he dials Luke’s number.

^

Luke doesn’t mind Michael crawling into his bed while he’s still half asleep. He just rolls onto his back so Michael can lay on the already warm sheets. He pecks Luke’s forehead just because, and Luke smiles a little, eyes still closed. Dimmed sunlight shines onto his face through the curtains, and he looks like he’s glowing.

“You gonna cuddle me or just stare?” Luke asks, turning on his side, away from Michael, and waiting to become little spoon. Michael laughs quietly, pressing himself against Luke’s back and wrapping an arm around his waist. Luke hums in contentment, settling in to nap for a while longer.

“It’s past noon.” Michael says against Luke’s neck as his breathing gets deeper.

“Missed a lot of sleep of tour, ‘m catching up.” Luke explains.

“’S been almost two weeks.”

“What is this?” Luke snorts. “Sleepers Anonymous? I don’t have a problem, I swear.”

“Shh, I’m trying to sleep.” Michael says. He can practically see Luke roll his eyes at him, but he’s okay with it. Luke doesn’t tell him that his argument doesn’t make sense, because he knows Michael’s given up on it and just wants to sleep now. Luke knows Michael, and he’s a good boyfriend, except he’s not. Michael breathes in Luke’s warm, soothing smell and decides not to dwell on it any longer.

“Wanna go out later?” Luke asks, just before Michael falls asleep.

“Like on a date?” Michael mumbles against Luke’s neck. Luke shivers at the feeling of it, then nods

“Mhm.” Luke mumbles.

“’Kay,” He agrees, eyes flickering shut.

^

Ashton facetimes Michael a few minutes after he wakes up. The ringtone is loud, the only other sound in the room being Luke’s light snoring. He picks up quickly to avoid waking him up, holding the phone in front of his face. Ashton flicks his eyebrows up in greeting.

“You’re still in bed?”

“We’re _on break_.” Michael says, exasperated. Just because Ashton rises with the sun and jogs the day away or something doesn’t mean Michael can’t get up at two and stumble downstairs to order a pizza. With pizza on his mind, he glances at Luke and thinks about taking him out to a pizza place later, on that date he’d mentioned.

“You’re in _Luke’s_ bed?” Ashton’s eyebrows raise higher. Michael focuses on the chip in the corner of his phone, instead of looking at Ashton’s face. “I wanted to cuddle.” He says, shrugging. “No big deal, we cuddle all the time anyway.”

“Right.” Ashton nods. “’Cause he’s usually in the next bunk from you. Not fifteen minutes away from your house.”

“Stop analysing my intentions,” Michael whines, pressing his thumbnail into the chip he’s been staring at. He scrapes at it, finally looking at Ashton. “It’s not a thing, Ash. Stop making it a thing.” Ashton doesn’t say anything, but Michael knows what he’s leaving unsaid. Last time Michael had claimed something wasn’t “a thing”, he’d ended up in therapy for a few weeks, and then blurted that fact out onstage in front of thousands of people. Freaked everyone the hell out. “I’ll be fine.”

“I trust you, don’t think I don’t.” Ashton says after a few seconds. Michael nods, not looking at him again, and then Ashton sighs. “Anyway. I called you to ask if you wanna go do something later. Cal’s up for it, and you can ask Luke when he gets up I guess.”

“Oh, uh. Luke and I are kind of doing something later.” Michael resists the urge to wince at Ashton’s silence.

“Your mum will be glad to hear it.” He says eventually, reminding Michael that he hadn’t even told her, nor had he planned to. Fuck.

“Yeah.” Michael smiles. “She will.”

^

Karen _was_ glad to hear that Michael wouldn’t be home for dinner that night because he was going to go get pizza with Luke. She seems at peace when he grabs his keys and tells her he’s leaving. She even tells him she’s glad he’s in a relationship with his best-friend, and Michael nods and leaves.

They end up in a small Italian restaurant that seems relatively new, downtown. There's a candle on the table and everything. Michael picks up the menu, reading through it while Luke dicks around on his phone.

"You gonna be gross and choose the Hawaiian?" Michael asks, not looking up from the menu.

Luke sighs like they've had this argument several times before, which they have. "It's not gross, it's a classic. I mean, yeah it has pineapple but it works-"

"No," Michael shakes his head. "It doesn't work. Pineapple is a fruit, it doesn't belong anywhere near pizza. Next you'll be telling me that orange slices 'work'."

"Actually," Luke smiles, looking like he's thoroughly enjoying Michaels look of pure horror.

"If you're going to try and tell me orange slices are good on pizza, we're breaking up. I could deal with pineapple but _what the fuck_ , Luke?"

"I'm kidding," Luke laughs. "Pineapples are good for you though. I hear they make your come taste good." Luke says, picking up one of the breadsticks on the table and chewing it thoughtfully. Michael doesn't know how to deal with Luke casually talking about come, even though he'd been in very close contact with it just a few days prior. He picks up his menu again as the waiter comes back over.

"One Hawaiian and one Pepperoni, please." He orders.

Luke chews absently on the breadstick as the waiter nods and leaves. The weight of the whole situation hits Michael at random times, and this is one of them. It's dumb to think they can just do this together, and come out of it completely fine, and not damage each other at all. But break ends in a little over a week and tour starts about two weeks after that so it's not like he's going to be at home for much longer. Then he'll be out of his parents' house and they won't have to pretend and he can make up some story of the sad break-up later.

Thinking about breaking up with Luke makes him sad, even though it inevitably has to happen. He picks up a breadstick too.

^

On the fourteenth day of break, Michael kisses Luke for ten whole minutes before he gets around to asking him the crucial question. Ten minutes seems like a lot in terms of what Ashton would say if he knew but the truth is he always loses track of time when he's kissing Luke.

So yeah, he asks him.

"What are we doing?" He says, when Luke pulls back a little to look at Michael. Because he just "likes looking at him". It's too raw and it triggers Michael's need to ruin a good thing. It sounds every bit as embarrassing as he feared it might. "I mean, this... My mums not up here." Michael gestures around Luke's messy room. "We don't need to keep pretending up here."

Luke is quiet for a bit, and leans away from Michael more, since he's gone and killed the mood. Brutally murdered it, to be honest. Luke chews on his bottom lip that's a little swollen and glossy. His eyes search Michael's, and Michael has no idea what he's trying to find.

"You want to stop?" Luke asks after a second. Michael shakes his head before he's thought it through, but then pauses and nods slowly.

"Maybe we should just do what we're meant to. Fake a relationship. Not kiss each other." _Not casually get each other off_ , Michael adds, in his head. They've only done it once, but even once is a bit too messy for Michaels liking. They're going to have to talk about that eventually. And they can't hide it forever, especially not from Calum who is both a pack hound when it comes to discovering information, and useless when it comes to concealing information. It'd be an all-round wreck. Michael can't do that to them.

Luke's expression has twisted a little, lips pulled down at the corners. Michael frowns too, subconsciously mirroring it. "I'm- I'm sorry if I made you feel like we had to kiss or whatever. I just thought..." Michael winces and Luke shrinks farther into himself.

"No, you didn't make me feel like I had to do anything." Michael rushes to assure him, an ache in his chest. Luke's sad and he wants to comfort him, but how's he supposed to do that without running his mouth and spilling his guts? Luke doesn't look at all convinced but Michael decides, for once, to keep his mouth shut. All he can do is make it worse if he keeps talking.

"Okay," Luke says, staring at his sheets, although it's obviously not. "You wanna... wanna play a game or something?" Michael eyes the Xbox in the corner, then shakes his head.

"Let's nap." He says instead. Luke sighs in relief, burrowing under his mass of blankets and turning onto his side. He's got his back pressed against the wall his bed is against, Michael couldn't spoon him if he tried. Something tells Michael that's not an accident. Michael lies facing him, ends up staring of course.

"Why are you staring at me?" Luke says, voice already sleepy.

"'Cause you're in my line of sight." Michael replies.

Luke yawns loudly, just to be obnoxious, but Michael doesn't take his eyes off him for a second. He's too distracted by how completely fucked he is.

^

When they wake up, Michael is spooning Luke, like the universe intended. He doesn't bother questioning it and trying to figure out how it happened. He presses his lips to his hair and let's his eyes slide closed again.

Luke mumbles something in his sleep, clumsily pressing himself closer into Michael’s warmth. Michael feels the muscles in Luke’s back tense up, and he starts to wake up, so he lets his fingers mindlessly card through Luke’s hair, gently, so he doesn’t disturb him. The strands are soft between his fingers. The way Luke relaxes into the touch makes Michael feels a lot of things that he’s been carefully avoiding, but he doesn’t stop. Luke says something unintelligible low in his throat, his voice scratchy, and then starts to snore quietly. Michael smiles a little at his sleep-talking, then quickly schools his face into the most passive expression he can muster.

Maybe this isn’t the best situation for them to be in after they’ve just kind of broken up. But Michael can’t bring himself to let go of Luke and leave the warm, darkened bubble of his bedroom, where there are no consequences and things are only bad if they let them be that way. Cuddling Luke _can’t_ be bad. So take that, Ashton.

Luke stirs in his sleep, pushing back against Michael a little more. Michael’s teeth dig into his lip, and he grabs Luke’s hip, wrapping his fingers around it to keep him still and firmly away from Michael’s dick. His eyes snap shut just as he thinks of the situation. He hates his body for doing this to him; couldn’t they just snuggle for a while without any awkward erections? Luke sniffles, and he slowly lifts his head to look at Michael briefly. Michael can only imagine how caught he looks. Luke lays his head back down again.

“Michael?” Luke’s accent is thick, like it always is after he’s just woken up. His words are muffled against the pillow, but Michael hears them clearly. When he doesn’t reply, he can almost see the smile on Luke’s face. “Is your dick hard right now?”

“No.”

“Then why have you got a death grip on my waist?” Luke asks. Michael slowly releases him, edging further away. But Luke’s bed is tiny and there’s literally nowhere to go. Luke laughs quietly, still not even bothering to look at Michael. Just casually embarrassing him further, like Michael isn’t going to move to the country and live in an abandoned shack on his own if this whole thing gets fucked and he and Luke get awkward with each other because of dicks and fake relationships.

“Are you even awake?” Michael takes a jab at Luke’s sleep-talking, just because it irks Luke that his body does things without his permission. Michael, morosely cupping his cock, gets how he feels.

“Yeah,” says Luke. “Are we gonna bang or something? ‘S that what you woke me up for?”

Michael nearly chokes on his saliva. “What?” he says, too loudly, ignoring the blatant lie because on the contrary Michael had been doing everything he could to ensure Luke didn’t wake before he wanted to, thanks. He feels Luke flinch at the sudden volume, but he doesn’t reduce it. “What did you just say?”

“You heard what I just said.” Luke rubs his ear.

“You can’t say that.”

“Well I just did.” Luke’s getting argumentative now and that’s not good for anyone. Michael lets the silence put things where they need to be, and takes a minute to wrap his head

around Luke’s stream of thought. Luke doesn’t say anything either, and Michael starts to wonder if he really _is_ asleep, but he turns around again, flat onto his back. “You didn’t say no.” Luke notes.

“I thought we were going to break up.” Michael sounds exasperated.

“Then let’s have breakup sex.” Luke sounds like he’s in a debate again, like fucking is the only logical thing to do right now, the expected way to go. Michael bites his bottom lip hard. He’s only a boy. He doesn’t know how to deal with a sleepy, horny Luke Hemmings. Who does? He’d need a course in it first.

But Michael wants Luke, and why shouldn’t they have breakup sex? After all the lies they’ve told together, they deserve it. Like a consolation prize. Michael will come up with a better excuse if he ever tells anyone about this.

No one can ever know about this.

“Luke…” Michael stares into his expressive blue eyes. Luke blinks at him.

“I even got on my back for you.” Is all he says. Michael laughs, and then stops when he sees the _look_ on Luke’s face doesn’t go away. He leans in and kisses him instead, and it feels just as good as all the other times. Even better with the added anticipation thrown in there. Until Luke is sucking on Michael’s bottom lip, and Michael’s hands are roaming under his shirt, he doesn’t realise how much he actually does want Luke. It’s not something he’s ever let himself think about too much before. Every ignored fantasy and wish comes pouring back into his mind and he moans into Luke’s mouth.

Luke pulls Michael closer, kissing him harder. Michael lets himself feel, let’s himself go, and he thinks he may be kissing Luke like a drowning man finally re-surfacing, but it doesn’t really matter to either of them. Luke’s hands reach Michael’s neck, thumbs rubbing against his cheeks tenderly. Michael;s chest fills with emotion until he thinks it may explode. He pulls away slowly, looking into Michael’s eyes.

“Could you get the lube out of the drawer next to my bed?”

Michael sighs dramatically. “You ruined it.”

“Ruined what?”

“We were having,” Michael inhales; he’s literally breathless, “a _moment_.”

“Why can’t you fingering me open be our moment?” Luke says with a suggestive grin on his face that Michael loves.

“Romantic. Since when do you even want to fuck me so bad anyway?” Michael blurts out thoughtlessly, like he’s in a position to question anyone else’s reasoning when he’s literally about to have sex with his bandmate and fuck everything up for no reason other than he just wants to. He reaches for the drawer and pulls out the small tube. Michael spends a second thinking about the fact that it’s half empty, and praying that Luke doesn’t get mad at what he’s just said.

“And who are you to question me? ‘M pretty sure my lips are bruised now, with how you kissed me.” Michael doesn’t have to even look at Luke to see the smirk on his face. A blush rises in his cheeks. “Damn.” Luke adds, just because.

“That’s how I always kiss.” Michael’s lies, his face bright red. Luke looks like he’s going to laugh at him.

“Thought you were trying to eat me.” Luke says, a smirk on his face.

“Maybe I will.” Michael says, as suggestively as he can. Luke gets the double meaning, of course, his skin flushing. He barely even notices Michael spreading his legs, pulling the boxer shorts that he slept in, off. Luke’s legs are bare and warm and soft. “Your legs are like breadsticks.” Michael tells him so he doesn’t have to look at his best mate’s dick just for a second. He needs to pull himself together first or there’s a very real possibility that he will moan aloud when he does look.

Luke still looks a little stunned, just lying on his back and watching Michael throw his underwear on the floor. Michael, inevitably, stares at Luke’s cock while he waits for Luke’s mouth to function. It’s thick and flushed already. As Michael stares, it twitches. Michael swallows, eyes flashing back up to Luke’s face. He holds his breath so he won’t say anything that he would regret in other, less-clothes situations. Like telling him how badly he wants Luke in his mouth. Yeah, that’d be pretty fucked.

“That’s mean.” Luke says, finally.

“I’ll make it up to you.” Michael promises, raising an eyebrow pointedly and sounding tragically eager. Luke bites down on his lip and spreads his legs a little wider, feet up on the bed. Michael, his eyes trailing down over Luke’s neck and chest, leans in closer to him. His own cock feels like it’s not going to survive the mildest of touches when he touches Luke’s. Luke is so _responsive_ , his toes curling as Michael wraps his hand around him, a low hiss of pleasure forcing its way from his mouth as he starts to stroke him. Michael is barely breathing as he takes in every little gasp Luke makes, takes in how good Luke looks in the dull stream of light coming in from his window.

Michael comes closer and takes the head of Luke’s cock into his mouth, and Luke moans properly for the first time, open-mouthed and shameless. Michael looks up at him, and meeting Luke’s eyes, pulls off, ignoring Luke’s noise of protest.

“We need to be quiet. Your parents’ll be suspicious.”

“Don’t they already think we’re together?”

Michael frowns, unable to help it. He’d like to pretend this isn’t as messy as it is, and that they live in a world where it’s okay for him and Luke to do this to each-other without any consequences. So he doesn’t reply, instead showering the tip of Luke’s dick with little kitten-licks that make him hiss in pleasure, and forget about any pending intense conversations. He takes Luke farther into his mouth, and when he’s about halfway, he feels Luke’s fingers thread into his hair, nails scratching gently against his scalp. He takes him a little farther, his fist wrapping around Luke’s base because evidently his cock is even bigger than it seemed and it can’t all fit in Michael’s mouth, although Michael is determined to try. Luke pulls his hair a little, and Michael’s eyes flutter shut with a muffled moan, and he realises, with a start, that sucking Luke’s cock is even better than he thought it would be.

With that thought, he pulls off, gasping for air and staring down at a dazed-looking Luke who’s dick is glistening with spit.

He kisses the tip again before letting his eyes flutter closed and taking Luke farther into his mouth, his tongue pressed against the sensitive underside, and the muscles in his throat relaxing as Michael reaches what he would expect to be his limit. He takes a breath through his nose, hollowing his cheeks to try and stave off his gag reflex, and Luke gasps and pants above him. He holds his position for a few more seconds, until he can feel the faint trembling of Luke’s thighs.

“You’re fucking _killing_ me, Michael,” he groans, knuckles white from his grip on the bedsheets. “I don’t wanna rush you but please do something.”

With another breath, Michael takes him even deeper, and is met with the strange, exhilarating sensation of a dick in his throat. Reflexively, his muscles tighten around Luke, and Luke starts moaning loudly, open-mouthed and shameless, gasping Michael’s name. Michael starts to bob his head, bringing his other hand to feel at what he hasn’t been able to fit. He’s pleased to find that it’s nothing, and that Luke’s whole cock is actually in his mouth, and fuck. That’s fucking hot.

He pulls off, gasping for air, and Luke’s body jerks at the feeling of the cold air against him. Luke whimpers quietly, under Michael’s stare. His back arches a little, a silent request for him to do something more.

“I noticed your lube was only half full.” Michael says, his voice absolutely fucked and beyond repair. Luke blinks, seeming to try and adjust to having conversations that aren’t about getting him off effective immediately.

“Yeah, I. I use it to jerk off sometimes.”

“Really?” Michael smirks, pulling his shirt off. The sheets rustle a little as Luke squirms in them. Michael undoes the string of his sweatpants, then looks back at the blond.

“Really.” Says Luke.

“Because I think you’ve been using it for more than just jacking off.” Luke’s doesn’t meet Michael’s eyes, his cheeks even more flushed than before. “Do you finger yourself, Luke?”

“Christ,” Luke groans, pressing his palms against his eyes. “Fine, I do. Are you happy now?”

Michael can’t seem to stop smiling. “Ecstatic, actually. But I’m gonna finger you this time, if that’s alright? Variety’s the spice of-

“You’re just making fun of me now.”

“I just took your whole penis into my mouth. I can do whatever I like with you now.” Michael says it jokingly, but his words illicit a breathy whine from Luke, a clear indication that he’d actually _like_ that, Michael having his way with him. It’s fucking bizarre, because Luke hates being bossed around, but at the same time, it’s incredibly fucking hot.

Michael fingers Luke open slowly, enjoying Luke fall apart a little more with each digit, with each crook of his fingers. He takes his time, no matter how many times Luke pleads _”faster”_. Michael focuses on his prostate, pressing his fingertips into it, and Luke whimpers and moans out Michael’s name. When he’s done with Luke, he’s so fucking wet, his cock dripping pre-come into his navel, the tip flushed an angry red.

Straddling him, Michael looks into Luke’s eyes, which are wide and desperate, the pupils blown. Positioning himself, he asks, “You ready?”

“Hurry the fuck up,” He groans, to which Michael smiles and thrusts into him, his eyes screwing shut at he adjusts to how ridiculously _tight_ Luke is inside, how fucking hot-

“You feel fucking ridiculous.” Michael moans, pulling out and then thrusting back into him again, both of them gasping at the sensation. “God, Luke.”

“You feel so- so- we should have done this sooner,” Luke manages, to which Michael nods, moaning out curses as Luke’s heels dig into his back to urge him along, get him to fuck him faster. As his eyes meet Luke’s, he can’t help but think that this is how it should be. He should be able to fuck Luke like this, be with him like this, and everyone else should just mind their damn business.

It’s not until he sees the look of shock on Luke’s face that he realises he’s been speaking aloud. Luke pulls Michael closer to kiss him, hard, and every muscle in his body tightens with the orgasm that washes over him. Michael can’t help but follow.

-

When Michael wakes up again, Luke is gone.

His first thought is that that’s just dumb. If Michael had a one-night stand, in his own damn house, he sure as hell wouldn’t leave. It’s just not rational, nor is it practical. His second thought is that it kind of sucks that he was just a one night lay. His third thought is _don’t you dare start crying here in his bed_.

There’s a text on his phone from Luke saying that he’s gone to some CalumandAshton thing, like a museum or something, with the other half of their band. There’s also a smile emoji, but it’s that creepy one that they had both agreed looked like a secret axe murderer who was just keeping up appearances with his fake smile, and to never use it again with each other. It’s weird that that’s what gets Michael bawling.

-

Michael gets the hell out of Luke’s house as fast as he can, barely calling out a “bye!” to Liz, who’s watching TV in the living room with an exasperated look on her face. Probably because Michael hasn’t been out of Luke’s room for about 12 hours.

As soon as he gets home, he throws his clothes in the laundry and takes a long shower. In his head are images of Luke and toasted sandwiches and FIFA and a pizza date and watching him dig his teeth into his lower lip as he falls apart. He’d been so _dumb_ to think that they could just do this, like it was normal. It wasn’t normal. It didn’t even feel like they were only lying to their parents anymore, more to themselves.

The water is almost scalding against his skin and the air around him turns to steam. He closes his eyes and pours shampoo into his hands to wash his hair. He tugs harshly and his stomach burns with anger because _what the fuck_? They have sex and Luke just waltzes out to hang with Calum and Ashton like nothing happened?

“Fucking Luke.” He says out loud, the anger at himself latching onto the blond boy instead. He ducks his head under the stream of hot water to wash the lather out of his hair, body still shaking despite the nearly extreme temperature. He’s been shaking since he woke up, he thinks.

Fucking Luke. ^ 

Ashton comes into Michael’s room at around ten at night. Michael been watching back-to-back episodes of Jeremy Kyle all day, just because he can’t bring himself to look for the remote and change the channel. He’s checked his phone a lot, and there’s about five missed calls from Ashton and Calum and none from Luke.

“Who let you in?” Michael asks, not looking away from the T.V. because he’s made adman commitment to this show and he’ll be damned if he’s not going to find out whether or not Jason is this kid’s father or not, and also whether he’s been getting some on the low.

“Door was open.” Ashton says. “That’s not very safe, you know. You’re literally famous. Lock your damn doors.”

“Yes, sir.” Michael says.

Ashton sits up on Michael’s bed beside him, a whole side of Michael touching a whole side of him. He waits for the commercials to come on because he’s a caring person and a dependable lad.

“You know I’m going to tell you that I told you so. Because I did.”

“I know you did.” Michael acknowledges. Ashton has every right to yell at him. He fucked up. “Sorry.”

“Hey,” Ashton elbows Michael gently. “Shut up. Where’s your determination to prove that you didn’t completely fuck up?”

“Gone.” Michael flails his arms weakly to demonstrate. “I acted like we were actually boyfriends when we weren’t.”

“It’s not all your fault.”

“Well if you remember, I’m the one who asked him in the first place, so. It kind of is.”

There’s a short silence and Michael watches the ad for vacuum cleaners while he waits for Ashton to say something. He hopes he and Luke can just maybe put this behind them. Chalk it up as something never to be spoken of again, like that one time they all got wasted and Calum got himself off in the back lounge of the tour bus for everyone to see.

God, their band is messed up.

“Don’t you wanna talk to him about it?”

“Nothing to talk about. We should just move on.”

“What happened, exactly?”

“Lots of things.” Michael shrugs, resting his head on Ashton’s shoulder. Then, smiling a little, he adds, “We got each other off in this bed once.”

“God,” Ashton groans, and Michael wraps his arms tight around his waist so he can’t jump off it like he wants to. The more Ashton struggles, the tighter Michael holds onto him and eventually, unexpectedly, Michael starts to cry. Again.

“Fuck,” Michael murmurs, letting go and wiping his face.

“Hey,” Ashton’s the one wrapping his arms around him now. “Look, Mikey, there’s only one way to sort this out, and that’s by talking to Luke. Crying and watching bad reality TV won’t-“

“Don’t you fucking _dare_ , Ash, I swear to-“ Michael looks up at him, but Ashton’s already got his phone in his hand, typing out a text. “I don’t want to talk to him.” Michael groans, wriggling out of Ashton’s betraying hug.

“He’s been really upset about it too, Mike.” Ashton says softly, which makes Michael’s stomach twist. “Just talk to him. I told Cal to bring him over-“

“He won’t come.” Michael sniffs.

Ashton doesn’t say anything, just pats Michael’s hair until he stops crying so much.

^

Luke comes over, with Calum behind him and they all stand around in silence for a minute, not looking at each other. Eventually, Ashton gets off Michael’s bed and grabs Calum by the wrist to tug him away saying, “We’re downstairs if you need us.”

The door shuts behind them and then it’s just Luke standing there at the foot of Michael’s bed, not talking. Michael looks at him eventually, but Luke’s already looking, and it just makes him feel weird and awkward which is two things he’d never felt before around the blond. It makes him want to start crying again, so he looks away from Luke again, and instead talks to the T.V.

“We don’t have to have this conversation, you know.” Michael says, fingers curling into a fist, and then stretching back out again to try and quell the wave of panic rising inside of him. Luke shuffles a little.

“I- Sometimes I feel like there’s feelings, and I think you feel like that too, but then you just. Just shove me away, and that hurts.”

Michael stares at Luke, eyes wide. “What? So you- there’s feelings? You have feelings?”

Luke shrugs, playing with his lip ring. “Do you?”

“I don’t mean to push you away, it’s just I thought that you were just trying to help me, and I was taking advantage.”

“So you think me kissing you in the dark in your bedroom was just me doing a pal a favour?”

There’s silence. Everything slowly starts to fall into place. Michael starts to realise how fucking stupid they’ve both been.

“You weren’t there when I woke up this morning.” Michael whispers, still hurt.

“I didn’t think you’d want me to be.” Luke says. “Michael, I think- I mean… I love you. I did this for you because I love you.”

Michael feels his heart thudding against his ribcage. His eyes flutter shut for a second, and he feels a little crazy when he opens them and Luke is still right there and he’s notdreaming or anything.

“Like, love-love?” Michael whispers, his voice croaky.

“Love-love.” Luke says.

“God, I love you too. I just… God. Come here.” Michael moves over on his bed and Luke, kicking off his shoes, climbs on, and Michael practically rolls on top of him, hugging him tight. Luke hugs him even tighter.

“Sorry I put you through so much shit.” Luke says.

“Sorry too. I love you.” Michael says again, just because he can now. “I don’t I didn’t want this to be a fake relationship at all, looking back. I wanted to be with you, I still do.”

“Mikey,” Luke says, quietly.

“I know, it was dumb, but I was so scared you wouldn’t want that too, I couldn’t… Couldn’t risk it.”

“Idiot.” Luke mumbles. “Been wanting that since Year 10.”

Michael couldn’t smile any bigger if he tried. He leans up to Luke, their lips meeting easily. Eyes fluttering shut, they relax into each other, kissing each other soft and slow.

^

“I’m Luke’s boyfriend now.” Michael says the next day, back at the old coffee shop where they used to play. There’s no real reaction, even from Luke himself, who just takes a bite of his donut, a small smile on his face.

“Shocker.” Calum smirks, raising an eyebrow at the pair.

“Never saw it coming.” Ashton adds.

“Alert the authorities.”

“Fuck off.” Luke laughs. “You’re just jealous Mikey snatched me up before any of you could.”

“Gross.” Ashton says, so Michael, keeping eye-contact with Ashton, leans into Luke, pressing his lips against his neck. Luke moans exaggeratedly, and Ashton flushes bright red. “ _Gross_.” Calum starts to laugh, and so does Luke. Michael feels good, happy. He can't help but think that maybe his mum knew best all along.

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on tumblr @gonnamuke, and tell me what you thought there or here. thank you for reading!!


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